6 Signs Your New Drummer Came From a Christian Rock Band


Drummers of worship actually exist - we have proof.  We've even witnessed them, surprisingly pierced, tattooed, and ready to groove with anyone.  Typically showcasing an abnormal amount of energy, positive attitude, and a humble sense of dynamics. 

These traits can be alarming - so we've compiled a short list of christian drummer characteristics - so you may prepare yourself for the slightly inevitable.

Here are 6 signs your new drummer came from a christian rock band:





1. He Keeps Reminding You His Kit's Color is "Virginal White"

Not just piano white, or a satin pearl white - but a pure, virtuous white.
This is also the same reason no one else is allowed to touch his kit.

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2. He Keeps Giving You All His Drink Tickets

This one might not be a dead giveaway - but coupled with a few other examples, and we've got ourselves one hell of a christ-rocker. 


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3. He's Actually on Time for Practice

This is one of the most annoying traits, especially for a drummer.  How are we supposed to make timing jokes? A drummer on time is certainly something that raises concern. 

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4. He's Physically Incapable of Throwing the Devil Horns

You've seen him try, or pretend.  But it just won't happen - ever.  Struggling to execute a simple hand gesture, for a drummer, is worrying. 

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5. He Insists on Dragging One of These Things Around

Born and raised in a church isn't a handicap, but it does come with it's setbacks. He's already playing with brushes, these are just excessive.


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6. He Doesn't Call You "Bro" - He Calls You "Brother"

It was probably a little weird at first - and it still is.


**** Why he wants you to play at his uncle's compound is also a mystery.  It's 4 hours outside of the city, and it's powered by a diesel generator. 


There's a lot to deal with when discovering you've been playing alongside a christian-drummer. And oddly, there aren't too many resources to help you understand what's really going on.  What is going on?  He keeps telling you he's woke - and yeah, obviously, he just drank a cup of coffee.



2018 - Kyle Fudd

Kyle is the drummer for Barney Van Halen, and he writes exclusively for Music Bam International.
KyleF@notmyearthnotmyproblem.com

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